My Appearance on AXN’s The Duke
August 25, 2009
This was from a few months ago, when I was featured in an episode of AXN Asia’s The Duke. The filming took place in the winter. It was all sort of tongue-in-cheek, and we had a lot of good laughs.
The show’s hosts–Rovilson, Marc, and Eunice–were tremendous fun, totally laidback, professional, and down to earth, without any airs. And the after party was off the hook.
Thanks are due to LL for helping me burn the DVD and edit it into this clip. Enjoy!
My TV Panel on Singaporean Women
August 8, 2009
To all you Singaporeans, Happy National Day! Can’t wait for the fireworks to begin!
Here’s a fun TV show that was filmed a long time ago, but it has only just been released. You can find them on the Razor TV site here.
I’ve embedded below the last two segments and the first segment. You can see the influence of my friend, Zan, in episode 7 and of Brad P. in episode 8.
After doing quite a few TV appearances and interviews, I’ve learned a lot about the media. The number one thing is to stay positive. Some of my hardest earned lessons include:
1. Check with the hosts on set before filming begins about the nature of the questions and the general angle they will be taking. Don’t believe the assurances of the producers over email. They will say whatever they need to get you on set. I learned this the hard way from that old Shan & Rozz interview when the producers said they just wanted to interview people with interesting jobs, but then they took a somewhat hostile angle in the interview. They were all very nice off-camera, though, and Rosalyn did come around early on in the 45 minute interview.
2. Do your due diligence on the show and the hosts. This is somewhat related to #1. Prior to filming that Shan & Rozz show, I had never heard of either Shan or Rozz and knew almost nothing about Clicknetwork beyond the fact that they had only done one episode before mine and that they were an online TV station. I didn’t even think many people would see the show. I also didn’t realize that they were much more of a comedy act than an Oprah-style talk show.
3. Be very careful what you say. Err on the side of saying less. I’m still learning to control my tongue, realizing that the editors’ first and foremost priorities are their own interests. They may very well cut out your best parts and leave in your worst parts. That Shan & Rozz interview lasted about 45 minutes but was edited to a relatively strange 6 minutes.
4. Watch your health and energy levels, and feel free to back out if you’re not feeling well. I was in the middle of a flu and was full of Panadol and Red Bull during that Shan & Rozz interview. In fact, I was still sipping Red Bull right in the middle of the shooting.
I also was on a caffeine high from a big cup of Starbucks coffee right before and during this Razor TV interview. Watching the clips now, I notice I was talking pretty fast, probably too fast for my Singaporean audience, which is probably not used to my Canadian accent. Watch the caffeine intake.
Having said that, this TV filming with Jamie Yeo, Melissa, and Bryan was a lot of fun to do, and we had plenty to talk about. Enjoy! Feedback and flaming are welcome.
Social Freedom
July 5, 2009
This one owes a lot to Brad P.
| The Electric New Paper : | |
| Dr Date | |
| What draws women? Social freedom | |
| THE business of social coaching and dating consultancies has been thriving for almost a decade. If the top experts in the field agree on one thing, it is the importance of this one factor. | |
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| 06 July 2009 | |
| THE business of social coaching and dating consultancies has been thriving for almost a decade. If the top experts in the field agree on one thing, it is the importance of this one factor.
What is the one trait that men who are naturally effective with women possess? Is it their looks, fast cars, or the size of their pocketbooks? While there is no doubt that physical attractiveness and wealth would make it easier for a man to attract women, the more important factor by far is social dominance. Dominance is a prerequisite to acceptance, attraction, excitement, trust, comfort, rapport, arousal and compliance. In study after study, women consistently agree that physical features matter far less than personality and status. In a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology by Professors Sadalla, Kenrick and Vershure, women consistently considered men who were portrayed as dominant, competitive, and determined to be more sexually attractive. In a summary of some of the considerable evidence for the female preference for dominance in males, Professor Bruce Ellis of the University of Michigan suggests that a woman often chooses a mate long before he has had the chance to become a ‘chief’, so she must look for clues for his future potential. Dominance, confidence, decisiveness, courage, ambition - these are the traits that cause men to rise to the top. These are the things women find attractive. What is the No. 1 manner in which dominance is displayed and the most integral requirement for the exertion of dominance? Social freedom. Your degree of social freedom is a sure-fire way for other people to gauge your social dominance. The marked lack of social freedom is probably one of the few major differences that set Singaporean men apart from men in other English-speaking countries. The amount of social anxiety the average Singaporean male carries is astounding. Social freedom is required for the implementation of the best dating advice and strategies. The work of social coaches is to teach non-dominant men dominant behaviour. Social anxiety Many men are studying the social arts but rarely do they practise what they’ve learned; their social anxiety inhibits the application of the material. If you’ve had any of these thoughts, then you know exactly what I’m referring to. ‘I can’t talk to that woman right now. What if that old lady next to her is listening? I can’t walk up to her now because her friends are standing around. What if the strangers around me are watching?’ Thoughts like these cause men to be visibly nervous, which sabotages their interactions. Instead of motivating themselves by thinking, ‘There goes one of the most intriguingly beautiful women I’ve ever seen, and if I don’t approach her now, I’ll lose my chance of ever getting to know her’, they’d rather allow themselves to sink into a self-defeating and self-limiting spiral of negativity. Learn more about dating expert Dr Date at his website: www.powerofbeingasian.com Dear Dr Date, In your earlier articles, you’ve talked about social freedom. What is it, and how do I get it? Sincerely, Stephen Dear Stephen, The key is to slowly and gradually increase the amount of social pressure you can handle. This process requires a concerted effort over a period of weeks or months. While the most effective way to train is with an experienced coach, you can take steps yourself to cultivate social courage. Here are some exercises adapted from the work on Social Freedom by another dating coach, Brad P. Do these twice a week for as long as you continue to see improvement. They usually take 30 to 60 minutes. Keep this up for at least two weeks. - Eye contact. Maintain eye contact for as long as you can with three people. - Time and directions. Ask strangers for the time and directions. - Small talk. Ask for directions and then make small talk for 30 seconds. - Store clerk. Make small talk with a store clerk for two minutes. - Humour. Walk up to a stranger, and make him laugh. You can’t exit the conversation until you make him laugh. - Butting in. Walk up to a group of strangers in conversation. Listen in for a short time. Then as soon as possible, join in, and start talking to them as if you’ve been in the conversation the whole time. Most importantly, have fun, and make other people have fun! Ask Dr Date Have problems finding love? Make a date with Dr Date. He’ll go over the finer points of courtship in his weekly column in TheNew Paper on Sunday. E-mail your questions to tnp@sph.com.sg |
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Copyright © 2005 Singapore Press Holdings Ltd. Co. Regn. No. 198402868E. All rights reserved.
Privacy Statement and Conditions of Access |
Required Reading
February 19, 2009
This was originally an article I wrote for Amped Asia that they posted on their website almost a month ago. I’ve just been too busy to cross-post it here until now.
The Reading List
Since the explosion of media coverage following the 2005 release of Neil Strauss’s New York Times bestseller, The Game, as well as the VH1 reality show starring pickup artists Mystery and Matador, which has finished its second season, the secret society of pickup artists has been thoroughly exposed and forced into the mainstream in America.
Yet even with the plethora of resources the secret society produces–ebooks, paperbacks, audio courses, DVD series, television shows–I find it utterly astounding that some adult American males still don’t know how to go about answering such simple questions as, “Should I pay for dinner?” or “Should I be her friend first?”
I guess this is a good thing for those who have already taken advantage of the secret society’s knowledge. Less competition.
But, c’mon! If you haven’t yet given the resources of the attraction industry a fair reading, do yourself a favor, and go check them out before you waste your time reinventing the wheel.
Perhaps the sheer amount of information available is too overwhelming. This I understand. Every month, another breakthrough product or 10-DVD series is being released. Who has that much time to go through everything?
Well, this is where one’s skills as a Ph.D. student, having learned to read a hundred books a month for one’s qualifying examinations, will certainly come in handy, LOL. But seriously, it’s amazing how many guys have supposedly read the same pages and paragraphs I have, yet have only garnered a small fraction of the rich knowledge contained therein. The erosion of critical reading and listening skills among the general population is disheartening, especially for a university professor.
I could recommend the excellent and free video resources available on the website of The Social Man, as well as their upcoming The Social Man Method. I could tout the latest Venusian Arts ebook, Revelation, as currently, the most comprehensive general resource on attraction science currently available. I could suggest the Infield Insider monthly subscription DVD series featuring hours of infield video footage and frame-by-frame analysis by Mehow and his guest pickup artist. Those are all outstanding resources among the hundreds out there.
Even though it is the best overall attraction arts e-book on the market at the moment, Revelation tops out at a very dense 322 pages. If a guy didn’t get through his first-year philosophy textbook, he probably won’t get through this one. If he doesn’t already have considerable field experience, he will likely be unable to appreciate the subtleties revealed in the footage in the Infield Insider, even after it’s broken down for him. A lot of it will go over his head. There is a reason most guys just “don’t get it”: They are blind to social dynamics, and until they train their instincts and develop their emotional and social intelligence, they will have a very hard time discerning what’s going on.
So instead of applying the mental discipline to go through such material, our hapless fellow turns to the vapid Doc Love columns of magazines and periodicals or the “pickup-lite” blogs dispensing feel-good dating advice (yes, I happen to write such a column, but I endeavor to make it worthwhile reading).
Don’t despair. There are resources out there that are suitable for beginners and those who just want to get their feet wet.
A good starting point before turning to any of the more advanced resources is my Dating 101 audio course available on my website. It has a 100% no questions asked two-month refund policy, so you have absolutely nothing to lose and everything to gain!
If you are an Asian man sick of people telling you that Asian men are unattractive or unsexy or whatever negative stereotype you’ve encountered, then sign up for my mailing list, and be among the first to get access to the upcoming The Power of Being Asian, which will be the best resource for Asian men in harnessing their Asian identity to become powerfully attractive to women of all races and cultures. Instead of seeing your Asian identity and all its associated negative connotations as holding you back, and instead of making race and ethnicity disappear as important factors, you will learn how to make these stereotypes work for you and give you an edge over the majority non-Asian race or ethnicity. You can sign up at the top right corner of my website.
Perhaps it is gauche to recommend one’s own work, so I’ll stop there.
For those who want an even broader, more general introduction to the social arts, then look into the foundational books that formed the inspiration for almost all the advancements in the attraction arts industry for the past ten years.
The Top Ten
First Category: Required Reading
1. The first book in this category is Dale Carnegie’s classic, How to Win Friends and Influence People. This was originally published in 1937. Almost every social skills book afterwards is a derivative of some sort. The guys in the seduction community who don’t see the value of this book are usually the really creepy ones with major psychological problems. No, I don’t mean you.
The insights contained in this book are so foundational that if you can’t apply these, you have no business looking into the headier stuff. For instance, Carnegie’s principle, “You Can’t Win an Argument,” was huge for me, an aspiring philosopher. I still to this day have lawyer and engineer clients who start intellectual debates with women and me, even in bars. They don’t realize how important it is to give up their egoistic need to be right or to have everyone know that they are right. It’s far more attractive to be unreactive, internally referenced, and completely confident in your own judgment, even if the majority disagrees with you.
Carnegie’s frequent admonition to “Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise,” is what drives Qualification as an attraction technique. His humorous, “Give a Dog a Good Name,” explains much of the effectiveness of Intention Mapping. Many of his other principles illustrate “Alpha Nice” strategies.
If you want to learn how to develop social circles and entourages, the teachings in this book are necessary to master. You will need to learn how to befriend not just random girls, but more importantly, alpha males, high status people, and well-connected men and women. And if you can’t even apply Carnegie’s principles, you have no business running more advanced strategies.
A good supplement to Carnegie, which avoids the archaic prose and endless examples, is Leil Lowndes’s How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships. While Lowndes’s tips are fantastic, they are a little parochial and will go out of date and lose their effectiveness if they haven’t already. That’s what separates classics that stand the test of time like Carnegie’s.
2. This is probably a big surprise to newbies, but it’s no secret to the insider circle that Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich is a favorite among the top social artists and inspired a lot of its breakthroughs in inner game. Like Carnegie’s, this is another 1937 classic that has stood the test of time. His chapters on sex transmutation and auto-suggestion are must-reads for any man aspiring to mastery in a specialized field. My own program of affirmations and visualizations were first inspired by Hill’s recommendations. I still get a lot of inquiries about what I do for affirmations and visualizations. Do yourself a favor. Get this little book. Read it several times, a chapter a day until the lessons really sink in. Oh yeah, and you might get rich too!
3. For all the attention that Strauss’s The Game has brought to the community, his first book on the secret society is best taken as an entertaining read, NOT as a manual or blueprint for getting better with girls.
His more recent Rules of the Game, however, is a good how-to guide and presents a well-balanced perspective on attraction, with a proper amount of attention paid to lifestyle and identity. Out of all the attraction manuals you would find in your local bookstore, this is by far your best bet.
And it’s a good introduction to the most popular style of social arts and perhaps the method best suited to absolute beginners: Indirect game using scripted routines.
4. The most thorough step-by-step guide to the seductive arts is still Robert Greene’s The Art of Seduction. Perhaps it’s biggest fault is that it is too thorough. Most lair guys don’t have the patience, motivation, or critical reading facility to get through the whole thing.
Greene draws on a lot of historical case studies, which I consider a real strength. If there is anything to the insights of the attraction community, then they should be found among the writings of exemplars in times past.
His character portraits are the most valuable part of the book. The true masters have thought long and hard about the different styles of social artistry, and many of them track the character types Greene lays out. It’s helped guide my own decisions about which attraction community teachings to adopt and which to lay aside.
His detailed description of the courtship process is skewed to indirect methods, but he also takes into account the strengths of the direct approach. The process he lays out is a meticulous breakdown of the steps in a typical courtship.
As with all the books in this must-read section, this book should be slowly absorbed and frequently re-read. A chapter or two a day is ideal.
5. This fifth book is my new Bible. I’ve been reading at least a chapter a day for over a year. Well, okay, I’ve lapsed recently, but I’m getting back to it. I credit this book for the most profound changes in my mindset toward my career, relationships, and my life as a whole. It’s given me the courage to make the hardest decisions I’ve ever faced.
David Deida’s The Way of the Superior Man is one of those books that will probably go over the heads of most guys starting out. But once you get to an intermediate level, this must-read will become the single most important book you could own. It holds the keys to real mastery. Incidentally, understanding of the teachings in this book can also be used to gauge a man’s current level of development.
Second Category: Highly Recommended
1. As a scientific account of what’s behind social dynamics and why some people are more attuned to social dynamics, this is likely the most accessible book available. Daniel Goleman’s Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships shows how advances in neuroscience, psychology, and various other fields have already unearthed a lot of the reasons for why community material actually works. Unlike the community ebooks, Goleman does not depend on facile appeals to evolutionary accounts. He doesn’t have to. Goleman’s classic Emotional Intelligence is also quite good, though not as directly applicable to social dynamics as his more recent work.
2. Cited repeatedly in Mystery’s Venusian Arts Handbook back in 2004, Robert Cialdini’s Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion has spawned a whole industry. This has become a classic in the attraction community. Cialdini is currently a Distinguished Graduate Research Professor at Arizona State University.
The six principles he elucidates in his book are all major concepts in the social arts: Reciprocation, Commitment and Consistency, Social Proof, Liking, Authority, and Scarcity. His book not only helped advance thinking in social dynamics, it also changed the way I saw myself, my relationships, my career, and my research in such fields as philosophy and religious studies.
3. Like Cialdini, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (pronounced like “chick sent me high”) is another renowned professor who has turned his research into an entire industry. His Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience explains what is behind the whole “being in state” teaching, which has become a hobby-horse of the boys at Real Social Dynamics though curiously, they make no mention of Csikszentmihalyi’s work. I read about his work in a philosophy class before encountering it in some of David DeAngelo’s DVD products.
This will help you understand why “being in state” is so powerful and the prime driver behind natural game, which has recently become such a contested term in the community, with Real Social Dynamics, PUA Training, Charisma Arts, and just about everyone else trying to lay claim to it, bereaving it of any significant meaning. Most have lost sight of the fact that Vin DiCarlo and Sebastian Drake were the first to come out with “natural game.” Csikszentmihalyi does a better job of explaining “being in state” than does neuro-linguistic programming.
But more importantly, Flow will explain how the experts achieve flow on a consistent basis, as well as the personality types of those most prone to flow experiences. He also draws on literature and data from a wide variety of cultures, periods, and societies, including Daoist and Buddhist teachings.
Interestingly, his son is a well-established scholar of early Chinese philosophy.
If you can maximize your flow experiences, you will be a happier, more successful, and more fulfilled human being. What better reason do you need to pick this up? On the subject of happiness and what it takes to get it, the relatively new field of positive psychology pioneered by professors at Penn, Harvard, and elsewhere, has a lot of great things to say, and the best introduction to this field is Jonathan Haidt’s The Happiness Hypothesis
4. This list would be incomplete without some mention of neuro-linguistic programming (NLP). The best general introduction I’ve found is Introducing NLP: Psychological Skills for Understanding and Influencing People by Joseph O’Connor and John Seymour. The writing can be dry and pedantic in places, but the knowledge is invaluable. If you’re interested in NLP, save up a couple thousand dollars and take a course in it.
I prefer the more accessible NLP of Anthony Robbins. His Ultimate Power: The New Science of Personal Achievement helped take my inner game to the next level. You might also want to check out his Awaken the Giant Within, which covers the same material but in a different format.
5. And finally, I would be remiss if I left out some literature on evolutionary accounts of sex and relationships. Most attraction community ebooks appeal to this exclusively for their academic understanding of social dynamics. I find this one-sidedness disappointing. As bemoaned by many academics, evolutionary accounts are too ad hoc. You can pretty much come up with an evolutionary explanation for almost any perspective on social phenomena. Despite this, it is good to know the research. The best book on this subject is Robin Baker’s Sperm Wars: Infidelity, Sexual Conflict and Other Bedroom Battles. The Red Queen: Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature by Matt Ridley is also quite good.
So there you have it. The Top Ten books that will change your life. I recommend you go through them in the order I’ve laid out. The first five deserve slow and steady study, as well as repeated readings.
If you are Singaporean, then you must read this
January 30, 2009
Well, you don’t have to. That was just to get your attention. LOL
For your weekend reading, you absolutely must check out this article in the New York Times.
It’s all very interesting, but I found the last couple of pages the most enlightening. If you understand the importance of ‘dominance’ as a universally attractive masculine trait, then you’ll be able to appreciate this article. If you don’t yet get it, then maybe you will after reading this article. It’s entitled, “What do Women Want?”
Check it out!
I have Facebook stalkers…
January 28, 2009
And they just keep popping up, lol.
Be vigilant with your privacy settings and don’t tag your photos unless you want jealous guys and creepy, psychologically disturbed community guys tracking down your girls, messaging them, and spreading malicious rumors about you, including false information about how you run your day 2s and who you are currently seeing (wow, a little too close for comfort).
Singaporeans don’t have paparazzi; they have the creepy lair guy… who writes ungrammatical English, lol
As you make a name for yourself, you’ll have to get used to this; it comes with the territory. It’s almost inevitable that some random creepy guys out there will be so ego-driven, simultaneously so full of pride and envy that they will obsess over you. You barely even know of their existence, but they spend every waking moment obsessing over you. LOL. It sounds scary, but it’s actually more pitiful than anything else.
Not all community guys are creepy, of course, but you never know who you are really dealing with… (cue scary music, lol).
Back to our regularly scheduled programming.
Play on, The Asian Rake.
Thought Leader Interview with Lance
December 29, 2008
You might remember when I mentioned that I was named, along with such guys as Sinn and Dave Wygant, as one of the top Thought Leaders in the community by Honey and Lance. Following up on that, Lance has been doing email interviews with each of the Thought Leaders, and he just posted his interview with me.
If you haven’t checked out Honey and Lance yet, do it now. You’ll thank me profusely afterwards. Their site is easily one of the most insightful, candid, and well-balanced forums on dating and relationships. Most notably, their probing analyses and entertaining writing have attracted several articulate and highly intelligent female bloggers who have been interacting with both Honey and Lance and generating great discussions.
Here’s the original post on the Thought Leaders.
Here’s my interview with Lance.
Happy Holidays!
Open Relationships
December 22, 2008
The Electric New Paper :
Dr Date
Do talk to strangers
I’VE been told that Singaporeans don’t like it when strangers start conversations with them. I’ve also heard that Singaporeans are uncomfortable with frequent stranger- to-stranger interaction.
By David Tian
22 December 2008
I’VE been told that Singaporeans don’t like it when strangers start conversations with them. I’ve also heard that Singaporeans are uncomfortable with frequent stranger- to-stranger interaction.
But this has not been my experience.
Recently, I was queueing at a local fast-food joint and sending an SMS on my handphone when a man behind me commented on how slim and fashionable my smartphone looked.
He said he was considering getting the same phone and wanted my opinion of it. This led to a brief but pleasant conversation.
Later that day, a pretty woman in a lift complimented me on my cowboy boots, which led to a friendly chat about where to get the best Hokkien mee at suppertime.
At the lounge in the evening, a nice middle-aged couple nearby asked my friend the name of his strangely coloured drink, which also led to an enjoyable exchange.
When I made eye contact with the couple next to us, they introduced themselves, we chatted and they had the waiter bring more glasses so that we could all share their bottles of wine.
In all these cases, I was the recipient of friendly approaches from perfect strangers. And that was just a single day.
Human beings are social creatures. As Harvard-educated psychologist Daniel Goleman wrote in his recent book, Social Intelligence, human beings are wired to connect.
Extensive research in neuroscience has shown that our brain’s very design makes us sociable.
People thrive on social connection. Those who can generate honest, positive interactions will be welcomed anywhere.
Even better, if your society really is cold and closed. Then you will stand out even more as an agent of positive change and a source of warm feelings.
Remember this the next time you’re hesitant about approaching a total stranger for a chat.
It’s really the natural thing to do.
Learn more about dating expert
Dr Date at his website: www.powerofbeingasian.com
Dear Dr Date,
I know my boyfriend is seeing other women. Whenever I confront him about it, he admits to it but says that he loves me and still wants to be with me.
I’ve thought a lot about it. I know he enjoys chasing girls. But I also know how he feels about me.
I’m not looking for a husband at this time. Truthfully, I don’t care who he dates as long as he keeps seeing me and as long as it doesn’t interfere with what we have. I don’t want him to talk about them around me, and he obeys me on that one.
But my friends think I’m insane. What should I do?
Yours, Questioning Queenie
Dear Queenie,
Your question shows a great deal of maturity and broad-mindedness. What you describe sounds like an open relationship. I wonder if your boyfriend would allow you to see other men. It’s something worth discussing with him. At least you will know where you both stand on that.
It is possible to thrive in an open relationship but it is very tricky. This is a decision you must make for yourself. You should be very aware of and clear about your personal boundaries, what you are willing to accept from him and yourself.
It sounds like you are already okay with the idea of an open relationship and are willing to give it a try.
You may be reassured in knowing that many others have had considerable success in maintaining open relationships. I have witnessed some of these personally.
I would not advocate a return to the time of King Solomon or the Chinese scholar-elite in imperial dynasties.
There is, though, something to be said for being honest with yourself about what you really want in a relationship at this time and to disregard society’s arbitrary social conventions and norms.
If he means enough to you that you can accept this aspect of him, then prepare yourself for one heck of a ride. There is always the possibility of jealousy rearing its ugly head.
If you decide that this is not for you, then end it abruptly and quickly.
Copyright © 2005 Singapore Press Holdings Ltd. Co. Regn. No. 198402868E. All rights reserved.
Privacy Statement and Conditions of Access
As you think, so shall you become
October 17, 2008
“As you think, so shall you become.” –Bruce Lee
That’s a mantra for me in changing myself dramatically over the past couple of years. It’s really the secret to phenomenally rapid and lasting transformation.
Let me introduce you to an article that says has some powerful insights into this topic.
This post isn’t meant as an excuse for being delinquent on updating the blog. Rather than a substantial blog post once a week, I’m now writing a two-page weekly column for a national newspaper, an even longer weekly column for www.ampedasia.com, the planning and production of various exciting products soon to be released, and my academic work, which is kicking into high gear this year. Never fear, though. The new blog articles will be coming, slowly but surely 
Today, I’m directing you to one of the very few blogs of which I am a regular reader.
I’m also motivated to do this because I’ve come to understand from first-hand experience what it’s like when the media paints a distorted, one-sided image of you, which then affects people’s first impressions.
Owen (”Tyler Durden” is his old handle) was a caricatured character in Neil Strauss’s “The Game.” Insiders know that Neil needed a foil for his main characters, and TD proved to be an easy target. It forced Owen into retreat and to reconsider his approach to women and life. Since then, his company, Real Social Dynamics, has put out a lot of products whose teachings supersede and contravene RSD’s earlier methods.
Sometimes they go too far to the extreme, especially in their techniques for manipulating one’s emotional state, but it’s a welcome corrective to the rest of the trends in the industry.
Here is an excellent blog article by Owen.
Here’s to a kick-ass weekend!
Dr. Asian Rake
Social Skills Matter More Than Ever
September 27, 2008
I found this great article on how important social skills are in determining career success these days. I usually don’t link to blog posts that are two years old, but there are quite a few other interesting posts on this particular blog.
Plus, I’ve noticed that an alarmingly high number of 20-something Singaporeans, Koreans, and Chinese are stuck in the sort of mindset you would’ve found in 1980s America, in which young people are herded into “safe” professions, thinking that job security and the deferred life plan (as Timothy Ferriss so aptly put it) are paramount. Banking, law, medicine. But with the recent crash on Wall Street, even finance is no longer safe. Um, unless you’re truly passionate about your work, c’mon, take a frickin’ break.
Be lost for a little while. Try new things. Try those crazy adventurous things you’ve always wanted to do but are just waiting until “the time is right.” I’ll tell you what: The time is never “just right.”
So few actually take the time to think about what makes life meaningful. Don’t get caught up in the hedonic treadmill!
Actually take a look at the decades of psychological research on happiness. I’m still shocked at how people know so little about happiness studies, and how ignorant we can be about our greatest goals in life.
Here’s the article.
For those using unblock proxies:
http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/07/18/social-skills-matter-more-than-ever-so-heres-how-to-get-them/
I hope it vindicates the social arts as useful, relevant, and even necessary to success in life beyond just being good with women.
And here’s another interesting article.
http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/11/15/stop-worrying-that-your-twentysomething-is-lost/
Peace and love, The Asian Rake.
